PRETENDER I "LOVE" You..

This entry is specially written for the person that once I'm in love with.. It's not that I don't have any feelings towards him anymore but I feel that my love for him was slipping away everyday.. He is one of my best friends.. There is a lot of memories I share with him.. So, it's kinda hard to get him out of my head or precisely out of my heart.. :(

At my school.. Too many memories.. 

Honestly, I don't know how should I react when I see him.. It's confusing.. Let's just hope I don't fall for him again.. I always pray to Allah that I'm able to accept that he is going to be just my best friend.. I'm bored with his attitude when he's around me. For one second he makes me love him n the other second he makes me feel   irritated... I wish I could punch his face when he makes me upset.. Seems like he is trying to test my patience.. I don't care if he likes any other girls but please don't make me feel that you like me too.. He flirts other girls in front of me, he's being indifferent to me, call me names and sometimes acts coldly at me.. I reached my boiling point on his birthday.. I text him to wish him happy birthday. I understand if he didn't reply my message. Then, I wrote on his facebook wall.. After that I checked his wall and I see that he already deleted my wall post along with other people wall posts wishing him happy birthday.. Maybe you see that I'm being irrational to be mad about this but this is not the first time he done that.. This is when I decided not to contact him anymore..

I met him on 1st June 2011.. I went back to my hometown for my holidays.. I met him today after about two months I didn't contact him.. If only I knew that he would show up on this day I would not gather with my other friends.. I did talked to him but I'm not the one who starts the conversation and I would just simply reply what he asked me.. I show that I don't really want to continue the conversation with him.. hahaha.. There,  taste of your own medicine.. That's what you've had done to me YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE..

I love you and you show those bad attitude of yours towards me.. Please don't let me fall for you if you don't love me.. It will only make our friendship bitter.. I can accept the truth if you don't love me.. It's just like you're pushing and pulling me down to you at the same time.. Respect my feelings if you really value our friendship.. From now on, I believe that the way I treat you would not be the same.. Every time I'm thinking about you and those happy memories that we share, I also get this slight pain in my chest when I remember what you've done.. If you do care FOR HER why hurt HER at the same time??? YOU BAKAMONO.. Don't you realize that by toying with HER FEELINGS would ONLY make HER HATE YOU??? Unless it was your ULTIMATE GOAL in the first place.. You think I enjoy being awkward when I'm with you??? Suppressing those questions that I've been wanting to ask you... Keeping my mouth shut so that I won't get hurt... At least that's what I think, but the truth is my feelings still hurts whether I keep my mouth shut or not..
Don't you see the consequences of what you've done.. I've been showing the signs that I like you and still you close you eyes on me..

I'm positive that for this coming Hari Raya I will be seeing him again... I would not make his presence as a reason why I should not meet with my other friends... Just act in the way that you think right Cyra.. :)
You rule girl.. hehehe.. Finally I just want to say that I do <3 you PRETENDER... Uhn-ri-kwehy-tid-luhv hurts a lot especially when you love your own bestfriend..

Smiley expression of mine.. :)